No Football in 2011? Just Look North

With both the owners and the Player’s Association digging their heels in the sand all roads are leading to a lockout and no NFL season in 2011. If this atrocity comes to fruition we will need something to occupy our Sunday football fix. I think Canadian football could serve as a one year replacement while the NFL decides who won the Chain Measuring contest in the boardroom.

The CFL has all we need to take our mind temporarily off the NFL with 1996 production value, Just enough rules that make no sense that Americans can chuckle at, and of course reporters canadian accents.

One of the great things would be we all get to pick a team. No americans really have ties to Canadian teams so if we all decided to watch we’d all get to pick what team we follow. This would show the true colors. Would you back the team that is closest to the city you live in. Maybe throw your support behind a team that has a good uniform (Winnipeg) or mascot (Saskatchewan). Or would you be the type of person who would root for the Dallas Cowboys type team with the recognizable name (Toronto)

I decided to get a jump start on my CFL fanhood before NFL LOCKOUT DOOMSDAY hits and watched this years Grey Cup Championship game through the ESPN streaming feature on XBOX 360. This feature is a potential game changer in the way sports fans watch and interact with sports broadcasts. Here are my thoughts from the game:

The TSN Pregame team is just about as corny and good as any of its NFL rivals. Just look at this group photo TSN GAMEDAY

Jock Climie needs to be on american TV. He is a former CFL player who combines Lee Corso over the top proclamations  and Deion Sanders level cockyness that he could still play in the league. Even his first name, Jock, is perfect for his role. Here’s Jock’s Grey Cup Memory

TSN’s answer to Erin Andrews is Sara Orlesky who lacks slightly in looks:

and talent: She stumbles over every interview, at one point stops a read to blow her nose, and she used one of her sideline reports to talk about why Montreal players are holding 4 fingers up at the start of the 4th quarter. She does makes up for her shortcomings with heart. I doubt Andrea Kramer would let her barely hanging on plastic surgery face see the frigid sidelines of a CFL sideline.

The announcer said the kick off temp was -9 and that it was a great day for football. Indeed.

The Canadian National Anthem may be better than the Star Spangled Banner. Except for the part that’s in French

The Twiggs
What big canadian artist does the CFL get to sing the anthem? The Trews of course! Wait who the hell are the Trews where’s Bryan Adams.

There was not one but two flyovers from the Canadian Air Force fighter jets. One coming seconds before kickoff and scaing the bejeesus out of everyone on the field.

The QB Matchup for this Grey Cup Matchup pitted Montreal’s Anthony Calvillo the aging Kurt Warner type hispanic QB who has been to 8 Grey Cups and won 3 MVP’s but has faced questions about his deterioration skills. And former North Carolina QB Dariun Durant. A guy even diehard ACC fans forgot about faster than Chris Rix. Durant is the canadian McNabb because of  his mobility arm strength and inability to win the big game.

Announcing Highlights from the game:

” and there’s a bouncing puck” after a fumble

Somehow they never laugh when announcing a player is from Regina

“It’s Aboot time to throw it up to the booth”  when they didn’t even need to add aboot but did for your entertainment

“We’ll Step OOT and be right back” again the we’ll step oot was all for the viewer.

All the kickers and punters in the league have mustaches that make them look like actors from HBO’s Deadwood

The Top defensive back for Montreal is named Dix. Thus winning the award for most jersies with Dix on them in sports history. Just edging out the freshman on a D3 LAX team who fell asleep after being forced to do an Edward 40 Hands.

Even the fan signs are nicer in Canada. Nothing but the facts north of the boarder.

The Prime Minister of Canada sits right in the middle of the fans. That’d be like Obama standing in the middle of the Cameron Crazies at the Final Four.

Any sports fan would love rooting for Saskatchewan WR  Andy Fantuz.The Canadian Born 2 time MVP is the national pride, stayed close to home, and always shows up in big games according to the montage TSN put together and showed 4 times throughout the game. Also he has his own cereal in Canada (Fantuze Flakes)

All Patriots fans would love the CFL because 75% of the recievers and RB’s are built like Wes Welker, Danny Woodhead, and Dieon Branch.

Montreal’s SJ Green is the perfect WR vilan. Clad in an Under Armour Dark Visor Green is the teams 5th wideout but his mouth and skill makes him a SPORTSCENTRE Staple. Think of him as the “HUITCINQ” the french canadian OchoCinco.

He had a leaping grab and over 100 yards in the Grey Cup but they kept showing his catch of the year in the “Canada Day Classic” and it is better than any catch in the NFL this year. DONT BLIEVE ME? watch it here. (It’s at the end of the highlight)

Out of Shape Greenman Fans in Elmer Fudd Winter Hats? Point CANADA!

This year’s Grey Cup was a defensive battle and despite a few 1 point drop kicks i didn’t understand it was very entertaining. With his team down 21-17 Durant escaped 2 would be sacks like “Eli Manning on the Helmet Catch that should not be named” tries to fire it out of bounds and it is intercepted by Montreal’s Billy Parker which moved him past Asante Samuel on the championship clinching Interception list and secured the 97th Grey Cup and a repeat for Montreal.

The Aleuts hoist the Grey Cup which was brought on to the field with it's own symphony escorted by 2 Canadian Mounties. Your move Lombardi Trophy

So early in 2011 when the NFL announces the lockout has begun don’t cry into your Chris Johnson jersey just log on to the CFL wiki page and choose a squad. As for me after seeing them loose their second straight Grey Cup I will be putting my support behind the Saskatchewan Rough Riders. Does anyone know where I can get a box of Fantuz Flakes?


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Filed under Canada, CFL, Football, NFL, Sports Business

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